i have been dealing with an impossible work situation since april (an overloaded project workload — i have been swimming because i can never keep up … and a cold heartless awful woman supervisor.) she treated me great UNTIL i told her six weeks into this new position that this project workload is way too much for one comptroller to manage effectively. as soon as i did that (which i was asked to assess when i was offered this opportunity), she turned on me and treated me like a piece of garbage and a whiner ever since that week. she didn’t believe me and she ignored my recommendations and she kept giving me even more projects and she kept being mean, rude, cold to me.
I HAVE NO REGRETS THAT I ELEVATED this above her (my “boss” today) (see previous posts if you are curious). i had told myself i was going to suck it up until year end (30 Sep) (just work as much overtime as i needed to get through this load til the fiscal year was cleared) and then i would elevate this and ask ~G (the boss over my boss and me) to reassign me, that this is unacceptable and unhealthy and i am about to snap or break.
that was my plan.
but she forced my hand today. i felt i had no choice left but to take action higher today.
she approached me first thing this morning (she was waiting for me to come to work this morning at 6:30am) and asked me to come see her in her office behind closed doors and she proceeded to lecture and chastise and slam me about working overtime to try to keep up with the workload … she also said i should work 10 hourse every single day (this is not acceptable to me, a fulltime job is 40 hours, not more, if you have to work overtime all the time just to keep up, your workload is too much for one person) … and she challenged me that i was lying about working over when i wasn’t (i am not a liar, so i was highly offended to be accused of lying on my time) … and she also called my profession a slam too. i reminded her that i told her at six weeks into this that i brought forth my recommendations that this project workload is too much for one comptroller and should be split by at least 2 comptrollers and i was ignored and just given even more projects. but all she did right then was key in on “comptroller” and she said you’re not a comptroller, you’re just a book keeper.
what??
i said yes i am a comptroller. i am in the comptroller careerfield and that went on deaf ears as she did her best to put me in my place saying again that i am just a book keeper.
wrong!
no offense to book keepers here, sorry if this comes across this way. but my field is called comptroller and that is fact. i have excelled in my careerfield, i have been rewarded and given countless kudos, i have a MS (masters) degree in business management, i am one of only 18 people in the entire state of alaska who has my CDFM (certified defense financial manager) license (akin to an accountant having a CPA in the civilian world outside of the govt). that was the hardest goal i have ever accomplished. i studied my but t off for those three exams and rarely do people do this and pass this cause this is so hard, so it is extra special and valued to have this certification. i am also one of the few accredited in my comptroller career field high up there, and i would not have that high rating were it not for my experience, my college education, and my continuing professional education in my careerfield. i take great pride in what i do and i know i do it well. i am praised regularly.
so i took her comment and repeat of her comment as an insulting blow to me and my profession and all i have worked for and strived to do. and i was highly insulted to be accused of lying about my hours that i work over. and i was highly ticked off that i was lectured on using overtime to keep up with an impossible workload.
so this lecture chatisement slam conversation was “it” for me this morning. this was the straw that broke this camel’s back. i was done for. i had had it. no more. i was beyond fed up. and instead of snapping and breaking, i did something about it. i took action.
but i also did something that i still can’t hardly believe i did while in that meeting with her. i kept my cool. i remained professional. i did not tell her off and i did not yell at her. i did not call her any names and i did not get angry. even when she was accusing me of lying and insulting me, i kept my composure. i defended myself and i stood my ground respectfully.
and i absolutely did not cry and lose it in front of her. i still have not cried over this. it never occured to me until tonight after working 12 hours that wow, i didn’t lose it and cry in front of her, good for you kathleen. (and crying is easy for me to do when i am emotionally moved by something or hurt or angry.)
but this woman is not going to break me. i am stronger than this.
work is not my whole life, but i have not worked this hard to excel in my career to be treated like garbage. so all that lecture was for me was “enough.” i immediately knew that there was no way i would wait until year-end (30 sep) to elevate this.
i was so fed up this morning, i don’t know how i kept it together. but after i left her office, i sent an email that i needed to take care of then i silently prayed to myself and i knew what i had to do right then, not 15 minutes from now, and i silently prayed that i would know the right words to say and that i would get help and relief by elevating this. and the closer i got to that door, the more and more determined and strong i felt. it could not have worked out more perfectly. and yes, i feel satisfied today. i was given a strength to get through this, but i have felt so many times over these weeks/months that i would break and crumble and fall apart and lose it. things are going to be so much better now.
i went immediately to the man (~R) who offered me this job (he used to be in my chain of command but he still matters because he is one of the chiefs in my division). so behind closed doors, i sat down and told him everything. and he was outraged. and he was supportive and he believed me. and i told him i had had it, i can not and will not work this workload and i will not work for this cold and heartless woman and that i can not and will not tolerate being treated like garbage anymore. i said i am done and i am desparate to get out of this. get me out of this. reassign me. i am about to snap or break and lose it and i am trying very hard to keep it together. he validated me and he said he could tell i was done and i was ready to walk out. but i said i won’t quit, i haven’t worked for the govt for 21 years to quit. i am retiring in my careerfield. he understood. i told him i wanted his help in getting me reassigned to ANY comptroller position (same grade or higher) in our agency or anchorage for that matter. he handled this so well. and he asked me to see our boss above me and my boss and say all of this, too, because he said her supervisor needs to correct/punish her for what she has done here. i told him i already planned to talk to him ~G, but i wanted to talk to the man who offered me this opportunity first.
and when i took a lunch break, i called a couple of trusted friends and i vented (i got the answering machine and i hesitated to say it all there but i hoped my friend would understand how upset i was and how i needed to say something even if she wasn’t available right then … and also one of my friends was available, so i was able to talk it out with one of my people right then). i was sooooo upset, i had to talk right then to someone i trust and feel cared for by. and it did help me to take that short walk outside in the brisk air while talking on the cell phone.
~G (the boss over all of us and over my boss) was not back in town until tonight, so i came back downstairs before i left tonight. ~R had had a chance to tell him everything before i walked in. awesome. ~G talked and listened with me for an hour, yes an hour. ~R and ~G both were outraged at what she did to me and they were supportive and believed me (they have known me for a long time). they said they will really try hard to get me reassigned as soon as possible to another comptroller position. i said i can not and will not work for this heartless cold woman. i said nobody should be treated like this. i said i was treated like a treasure before. i said i earned 16 awards in the past four years (unheard of, rare, for just doing my job and doing it well) … and she treated me like garbage. they both praised me for everything i had done to try to make this impossible situation work. they told me thank you for all i have done. they told me thank you for continuing to come to work each day and try to deal with this situation. they also told me they recognized that i was FED UP and i was near the point of just walking away (DONE!). they validated me. i told them everything. and i told them i was fed up and i can not and will not work for this woman and i want their help to get me reassigned. they said they will. and they praised me for doing this with my back flared up, too. and ~G also reassured me that he will not let her bring on any repercussion to me because i went above her head.
i am probably being somewhat redundant. sorry. i am tired and fired up, too. this has been an amazing hard yet awesome day.
i am proud of me how i handled all this. and for the first day in weeks (in the work part of my life), i am smiling again. it is almost over.
i also told them i hope they don’t select her for that position permanently because she isn’t good at it, i said she is cold and heartless and does not listen or believe.
you can not treat people like garbage and get away with it for very long. it will always come back to haunt you. i highly doubt that she will be offered her supervisory position permanently. she showed her true colors, i know it.
i fought for me today and i feel great about it. and i am so glad i never once broke down and or cried in front of her. that would have been too satisfying to her i am sure. i think some people are truly miserable people and get some kind of sick enjoyment in making others miserable also who are under their command.
i have no regrets about how i tried to handle this using my channels along the way, and that i finally had to elevate this.
i know i did the right thing all along here.
i am confident that the right thing will happen from this.
night, kathleen
ps. and here’s a gem …
I am proud of you too 😉 I only wish my machine had let you leave a longer message! (grinning) You are a dear and I’m SO glad you did this.
Woohoo! You go get ’em girl! I’m sorry I missed your call, and the machine did get all of your message. 😀 I was beside myself I was so angry for you. I’m so glad ~R and ~G are backing you and since they know you, know you are telling them the truth. I am SO proud of you for sticking with this so long under these horrible of conditions and that you finally stood up for yourself ~ you deserved much, much better.
Mwah! You Rawk!
Way to go . . . the phrase that comes to mind here is “righteous indignation”. You fought for your rights, and the rights of the other employees . . . and you fought with the Lord on your side! Right on! 🙂
Way to go girl!!!!!
You did SOOOOOOOOO VERY WELL!! You go girl, don’t EVER let anyone treat you like garbage.. Ever..
Nobody deserves to be treated that way, especially not you…
And, don’t, don’t feel the need to defend yourself in your experience, knowledge and achievements.. Insulting behaviour like hers only tells you one thing: that is, what kind of person she is..
SO, SOOOOOOOO good of you to keep your posture, to stay calm.. You should be so proud of yourself that you can look back at this with your head up high…
BIG HUG to you, and thanks for inspiring me to keep standing up for myself..
Well Done!! You’re an inspiration to others. That woman acted very unprofessionally. You don’t have to get personal to get work done, and never ever does killing someone’s self-esteem get you better results. I am proud of you for not only standing up for yourself, but for showing integrity through this entire process. You go girl!
Good for you! You are right. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. Especially one who works so hard to do a good job and gets pummelled along the way. So glad your higher ups listened and understood. Hopefully this woman gets demoted to a position where she cannot demean others anymore.
Good for you. I am sorry you have been going through this. I would have boiled over on them. I hope eveything goes quickly and smoothly for you.
I am SO proud of you, Beany. You needed to do this, and I’m glad that you’re getting the support you need from them.
LOVE YOU.
♥
Good for you! This took a lot of guts but you handled it with style. Sounds like things will turn out in your favor!
I’m so happy that you stood up for yourself & took control of the situation! Good for you & good luck with what happens next.
Hey good for you Beany! Way to stand up for yourself, and it sounds like you did it in a professional and mature way. I’m proud of you that you did this, and that you kept it professional and didn’t let it get personal or nasty. I hope the situation changes for you, and soon – but even if it doesn’t, I hope you’ve let some of your tension/frustration out after having the discussion.
Just know that God is with you and watching out for you whatever you do, and that your family, friends, and e-friends all love you very much and support you.
HUGS!!!! Miss ya, Beany!
–J
This is AWESOME news! You go!
You go girl! I so know what you mean! Why do people think they have to make other people feel bad to make themselves feel good?!
Good for you Kathleen! I am so proud of you. That is wonderful you are finding support, and I really hope she gets reprimanded for treating you this way.
I’m so sorry I’m late here. I’ve been swamped with visitors at home.
I really hope this all gets resolved soon, and you get a far better position someplace else.
*hugs*
Way to go, and doubly that you did it without losing control, that makes a much bigger impact. I proud of you too, and hope you get a new reassignment soon. Good luck.
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No offense, but CDFM is not “akin” to a CPA. I agree that a CDFM certification is respected in the DoD environment, but not anywhere else. Whereas the CPA all over – including world-wide.
I’ve got both, and the CDFM is no where near as comprehensive and difficult as the CPA.
I’m only saying this because as a CPA, that comment really hurt my feelings.
C Dub