howdy cuties,
i’ve been seeing a 7 random things about me meme bouncing around the blogosphere lately and while i think i have said just about all i can think of on my little bloggy, something is busting to let loose tonight. so if you indulge me, i will try to think up some random tid bits to wowbore you with. hehe.
1) i was a tomboy growing up. “pants and shirt” was my favorite rant/tantrum to scream when my dad or sister would try to get me to wear something ugh you know … girly … to school. i could handle having to wear girly stuff to church on sunday but that was it. i ran around shirtless for as long as i could get away with it. i was disappointed when i started developing up there you know because that ended me running around around shirtless like the guys did. i was so jealous that they could always go shirtless! in my childhood neighborhood, my favorite thing to do was play rough boy games outside with all the neighborhood kids — my favorite was not “red light green light” and “statues” .. my favorite was playing football with the guys (“tackle,” not that lame “flag” kind). and i was not afraid to tackle or be tackled. i totally got into the game, i played just as rough as the guys, and i had a blast. so as an adult, even though i dress up for church and work most days, i am still most at home in jeans and hiking boots! if i could get away with wearing that to work everyday, i think i would.
2) before three years ago THIS WEEK (when i chose God and picked my church and when i first said a word about being r#aped at age 18), i was i guess stuck in a way and i was miserable, unhappy, depressed i guess, not really living life. can’t really explain it but i was stuck. i got through life, i functioned and did alright, but i didn’t really savor anything or anyone. and i really didn’t allow myself to get to know anyone .. not deep. i have come a long way since three years ago. i savor more, i notice more, i appreciate more, and some of my relationships are sweeter than i have ever know in my life before … i think it is because of being willing to take a risk, to open, to trust. i still have so much to learn though and will always be a work in progress, but i like life and me so much more in these past three years than i ever did before. at that time, i also finally let myself forgive a family member who i had hated since i was a child. i had been carrying around that anger — that weight on my shoulders — for almost 30 years by that point. and at that time, the violent nightmares that happened almost every night (about death or r#ape) stopped. these had tormented me ever since i was around 8 y/o (when the earlier s##exual ab##use had stopped). since three years ago, i have only had a couple of nightmares (but i used to have them almost nightly). what peace this has been. and when you stop carrying around so much anger and hatred, it is easier to notice the sweet things, the others around you, the blessings. i will forever look at my life as BEFORE that turning point week three years ago and SINCE that turning point week three years ago.
3) i think in flowcharts and macro/micro views at the same time. i am constantly thinking of how the work thing (systems, processes) fits internally or externally and how something chain reactions and will impact the customer, the staff, me, the agency. when i learn something or think of how it flows, my brain automatically puts it in a flowchart in a way in my head. it makes learning easier for me, always has. when i recall things from memory, i see in my head where it was on the page or screen.
4) one of my favorite things to do is laugh my heart out to the point of “no breathers” and occasional snort laughs, too. can never get enough of that with a favorite person in my life. i love moments like this. some of the best moments in life are sharing hard laughter with someone else you adore.
5) i hate watching horror movies. i just don’t do it. i did watch them when i was a teen. even though i hate watching them, i have found that my favorite fiction to write is the creepy oddball weird freaky story. but if any of my stories were made into a movie, i wouldn’t want to SEE the action. i like to imagine (let my mind fill it in) the action, but not actually SEE it.
6) i am an insomniac. i need very little sleep each day. that is why you will see me blogging/commenting at all kinds of weird hours (middle of the night). almost every day (weekends, too, when i am off work), i am usually up and awake by 3 am. just a habit. every few days it catches up with me and i need to sleep longer one night, but then i get right back into needing little sleep again until i run out of energy and have one night of crashing long and hard. i have done this for years. i actually like it. i love reading and writing in the middle of the night when the rest of the household is asleep for the night. it is so peaceful and quiet then.
7) i think i am a closet hermit. i crave solitude immensely from my alaska people. i must have solitude often … ok, a lot. if i don’t get enough solitude time, i get very antsy, unsettled feeling. i love moments with others, too. but my first choice is alone time. i am not lonely and i never feel alone in life. i feel very satisfied and hopeful for the present and the future. but i don’t need to fill my in person life constantly with others. i like snippets of fun moments with my alaska people, but i don’t want a whole lot more than that.
if you want to play along on this seven things meme, go ahead. i never tag anyone. if you want to do this meme, just consider yourself tagged. tell me you did it, so i can come and harass you he he read what you wrote because i am curious.
peace tonight, kathleenybeany 🙂
Me too on the horrors! The very last horror I saw was The Ring and I ended up leaving the room to go watch TV in the other room. I couldn’t even go into the kitchen without putting my hands over my ears to the noise of that movie!
I’m so not brave like that 🙂
Great post…I love getting to know my fellow bloggers via the seven random things meme.
You completely lost me on #3, but got me back on #4!
I remember also being hurt that I couldn’t go shirtless “like the boys”.
I cried. “Just because I’m a girl?! THAT’S NOT FAIR!”
I’m going to do this meme too, someday!
I am with you Sue- I was always upset that the boys could take their shirt off- I was hot too (temperature-wise…)!
I am also a closet hermit. Which is hard when your Great Grandmother lives with you. If I don’t have something to entertain her, she is just sitting and watching me fold clothes, clean-up, whatever. Makes me feel like I always have to be doing something. I love her and am glad she is here but when she goes out of town- I let everything go to pot and just relax WAY too much!
I can’t watch scary movies either. I have an overactive imagination and tend to get carried away when I’m alone and it’s dark. :0)
I’m not a fan of scary movies. Mostly b/c they make me antsy…and then it kinda starts a chain reaction of stress…making me more jumpy and stressed out overall. I loved them as a kid…but now? Not so much. I have way too much already that stresses me…who needs movies and NON REAL stuff?
Wow! Some of those could have been written by ME. I had no idea I had so much in common with you.
OK. I don’t see things in flow charts, but I do a weird thing. When I speak, in my mind I also type and do sign language (where I remember the signs .. and I don’t know very many) and I translate it into Spanish when I know the word for that. My mind just needs to be busy. All the stinkin time. And I see things in COLOR and in the LOCATION they were in on the page. Top left, in orange. Is that what you mean by flow chart? I don’t know my flowcharts, that’s for sure.
Abuse. Heck yeah. Way back when I was in first grade the neighbors locked me into the garage and one held me to a chair while the other exposed himself to me. It wasn’t a BIG deal (heh heh! jk) but it really affected me. Made me feel like I couldn’t trust people, you know? Hard to get over. And lots of harrassment as an adult from teachers in college, neighbor men, etc. etc. etc. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone had this high standard for living where they respected the other people on the earth? Also, first hubby was very abusive. Mostly verbal. Bleah.
Shirts off. Heck yeah! I still don’t get why we have to keep our shirts on on hot days. Like we are dying from heat any LESS than anyone else. It’s still unfair!
Horrors. NEVER. Not as a kid or as an adult. Poltergeist was more than I could handle. LOL.
TOTAL CLOSET HERMIT. I love people, but I also love having a place to retreat to. I love ME time. Don’t even need noise or music most the time. But I do need people. That’s why I blog. I like to connect with people around the world.
Not an insomniac … at all.
Yes to being a tomboy. Spent my whole child hood up the backyard tree. Man that was a great tree. But don’t be too quick to dis redlight greenlight. I LOVED that game! hehe
And yes to loving the gospel. Heck yes.
Glad you did that meme. Nice to get to know you, Kathleeny beany!
Wendster bo bendster
OH. And those questions you asked me are REALLY good. You’ve got the mad interview skills, woman! I will do them either today or tomorrow.
The first time I remember having a ‘no breather, snorting’ laugh fest was when a friend of mine explained cow tipping. To this day seeing a cow will make me laugh. I’m with you and #5 and #6 too.
kathleenybeany
heeeeeeee
love that
Amen to alone time! I enjoy being with others, but only if I’ve had time alone…before AND after. This includes my family, much as I love every one.
Horror flicks. Horror books. Yuck. I loved both in high school, but now they creep me out.
Hey–could you give me an I.V. infusion of your energy? Please? Pretty please???
I enjoyed reading these!
I loved reading these about you! I’m so with you on the horror movies and insomnia….as i type this post at 2:33am 😉
I did this awhile back, and it was really nice to read yours! I feel like I get to know YOU more and more every day 😀
Thanks for sharing with us, beany.
xox ♥
Happy third anniversary!
hi huck/jen — i hear ya. i hate that kind of movie. they do nothing for me. they are just gross to watch, so i choose not to. and you are so brave girl. you impress me all the time.
hi sue bear — glad you hung on until you weren’t feeling lost anymore. yea, no unfair about the shirtless! loving laughing with you on our phone call yesterday. you are a riot.
hi lena beana — yup, and that would sooooo bug me, too!
hi ashlee — do you want me to send you a nightlight? i love having one on each floor. it makes the home seem more peaceful, not creeeeeepy at nighttime when it is dark all around.
hi ash — agree!
hi wendy — i love that you started coming by and leaving me these amazing long book comments. you are a riot. i am totally enjoying your blog. you have quickly become one of my fav blogs. i added your blog to my list in my google reader, so i can always see when your new posts are up. amazing the similarities. about the flowchart question, my head is imagining a flowchart — the process, the flow of how actions work, yes then this happens, no then this happens, on and on. can’t help it, i just do it. i did like red light green light and other games we played as kids, my favorite was tackle football though. awesome interview. and i was impressed with the interview questions you came up with for speedy. my mouth dropped at a couple of them. you can really come up with good ones.
hi TARa — cow!!! hahaha. snort! i have had fun adding cow to the end of notes to you this week. silly girl.
hi dallas — awh, that is cute.
hi angela — thanks. it’s funny, i don’t mind reading creepy stuff, i just don’t want to see it. but i love writing creepy odd fiction when i am in the mood. where do you want to do the IV hookup? he he. if you want my energy, just keep reading, maybe some of it will rub off on ya. cute note, thanks.
hi sandy — awh, so you are an insomniac, too. i really like that i am. how about you?
hi heather — awh, that’s so sweet. thank you.
hi annette — awesome, you keyed right in on it. the day was today girl, 30apr2005 – 07may2005. thanks.
ALL — thanks, loved all your comments. really enjoyed this one and all you said, too.
peace tonight, kathleenybeany xo
hi