sometimes the best moments happen or the neatest pictures are taken when nobody knows someone is looking. hmmm, like life. sometimes the best things happen spontaneously naturally and when you don’t try so hard and don’t notice that anyone is looking on.
reminds me of the small and simple things.
good to experience the home visit with 16 y/o daughter ~E so far. her therapist wanted ~E to come home for a short visit to readjust to us a bit and see how she does prior to her final release at the end of one more school semester (december). so far alright. i don’t want to go into a lot of detail but she had been a violatal mess/handfull for 2 years prior to her going. been doing much better finally now.
when i drove to the airport to pick up dad and ~E (he escorted her back from utah), something strange happened. weird coincidence i guess. i put on a shirt that i hadn’t worn in a long time and i felt an odd heavy shape in the pocket. i reached in and smiled when i saw it. it’s a small metal stone that has a heart on one side and it reads “you are loved” on the other side. i hadn’t seen it since the night that we said good bye to put her on the airplane with the hospital staff who escorted her down to the residential treatment center (RTC) in utah. that night i bought her one to keep and i bought one for me, too, to keep. i had forgotten what pocket i left it in and i found it again yesterday the very day i went to pick her up from the airport. just strange to me the coincidence of that. it warmed me to see that stone that says “you are loved” again but it was sweeter to see this last night and since because so much has changed and grown for the better for us. i told her i found it again this day and she thought that was cool.
we were going to meet at baggage claim but as their plane was later and later, i crept closer to security. i decided to get to the closet point possible, so i could see them immediately after they arrived and walked past security. i saw hubby’s head over the security screen, so i stood behind the screen wall and as they walked by me, i jumped out and said hi and hugged them. it was a nice surprise. they didn’t expect me to pop out like that.
was sweet to hug my girl again.
really nice to have everybody home at home right now. was so strange (good) to have all of us around the dinner table last night. the small and simple things matter more.
~E came up to me last night after she and her dad returned from picking up dinner and said, “would you mind if i gave you a hug mom?” awh, and she hugged me tight. amazing. how much she has changed. a blessing.
18 y/o ~A got home from work and one of the first things she said to ~E after their initial hugs and stuff .. this cracked me up .. ”look, my b o o b s got bigger!” haha, didn’t see that coming.
she and her sister also did a slumber party last night (just the 2 of them so they could hang out more). they used to fight ”like c a t s and d o g s” before so that was cool to see this peace offering yesterday.
we’re on the homestretch.
there is hope. “hope begins in the dark.”
it has felt so good to have my girl back in spirit for months now. she felt like she came home again once she decided to make this positive change in her life.
the small and simple things with those we care about .. i think this is all that really matters the most.
peace, kathleen



I’ve been discovering my path is converging, on a similiar one that others are traveling lately. Yet…in so many ways I’ve already traveled that path. Perhaps it’s to do with what I’ve come so strongly to believe in and that is to reach behind me and offer a hand to pull the next in line up. A hand that was once offered to me…
I had those moments with my daughter where I thought I would lose her forever. Those spiteful I hate you’s, the vehement slam of the door. The days of silence. I truly believe if we stand firm in our love for our children, they grow up and realize…we’ve always been there, we were the ones cheering for them on the sidelines all this time. Today my daughter is a happily married woman. Now she teaches me the beauty of having an adult child and encourages our relationship to grow. I remember telling her when she was at her most hateful, “I will always love you, I’m your mother and nothing will change that”.
I once wrote an essay for Judith Heartsongs Artsy Essay contest. I’m leaving the link for you to read at your leisure. What I’m trying to say is…time heals and they do grow up to appreciate you. I know I found out myself not too long ago. Here’s the link I was referring to:
http://indigo-ravens-lament.blogspot.com/2008/03/when-i-saw-first-signs-of-cocoon-she.html
This was taken from my journal archives which I keep in a separate blog, these were migrated over here from AOL with the impending closing. I hope it gives you some comfort and hope. (Hugs)Indigo
i’m so glad that things are going well with your daughter’s visit so far.
it is amazing what that kind of help and therapy and love and support from family and teachers and doctors can do. i’ve witnessed it many times and i am always amazed.
What a great post. I’m so happy things are working out, Kathleen. It’s been quite a journey for both of you. I know it will continue to be, but to have come this far is quite remarkable.
((hugs))
Oh, so many sweet details. It made me happy to read this.
I was wondering where you sent her off to. I have a sister that is very hard to live with. She’s negative and she is very unhappy. We’ve been thinking of sending her somewhere where she can get help, but we just don’t have any clue where to start.