are you a freak? are you sweet? or are you a sweet freak? he he

yes, i am quite proud of this silly post title.  it makes me giggle and is the theme of this post.  you will see.  

one of my church friends ~B came up to me yesterday after the main service and hugged me and said, i’ve been worried about you because i’ve been reading your blog and bla bla bla …

man.

my first thoughts were, i forget that anybody in my alaska life here actually knows i blog and reads my blog.  and then i was running through my head, man, what have i really been saying on here that would make her worry about me?  she said she’s been worried about me and thought she should call me because she read on my blog recently how open i have been about my teen daughter ~E in the longterm residential treatment center (RTC) in utah and she read about my r#pe post.  i love being more open now on the bloggy and i don’t care so much anymore about keeping it in if i don’t feel positive and cheery.  i was talking with someone yesterday who made a terrific point.  she said blogs that are always cheery don’t seem as real, they seem to lack some human factor.  i used to mostly just blog when i felt positive.  but i don’t feel that way anymore, for about a month now, ever since i went away with hubby out of town.  i feel like letting go, letting loose, and letting down some walls.  this is my blog.  and we all make our own rules for our own blogs.  i feel better lately just saying what is on my mind.  oh, a little more about ~B.  my mind is all over the place tonight.  thoughts flying.  trying to bring it all in to make a few paragraphs here.  i write like i talk though.  if i was in a discussion with you, i would be bouncing just like this post is.  i’m me.  okay, back to ~B again.  but first … kidding … here we go. 

~B is good people.  and she stalks my blog folks.  he he.  she reads it a lot, but will never leave a comment.  i tease her, but she refuses to take the bait.  i never had a close sister, so i have no idea what that is like, but i like how ~B feels like a sister to me.  i don’t see her or talk to her all the time, but EVERYTIME we see and or talk to each other, she always makes me feel warm in her presence … and she always gets me giggling around her … it is always sweet to catch up.  and she is a great hugger.  so ~B if you’re stalking reading this post, i love ya sis.  and before i was killer sick, we ran into each other recently at the grocery store and we couldn’t stop talking and my hubby was getting annoyed because he was done and we were talking and even tearing up because our conversation turned serious.  i wasn’t ready to let go yet … you know, when you get lost in a good meaningful conversation and you just don’t want it to end.  and that’s when she said … i always inspire her and make her feel better after she talks with me.  awhh, that was sa-weet.  okay on to the other things. 

so, i forgot that anyone knows i blog and she surprised me when she said that.  i don’t talk about blogging with people who don’t blog … cause you know, have you seen that look that someone (who has no idea what you are talking about) will give you when you mention yeah, i blog, i write on the internet and share comments and emails with other bloggers and occasionally phones calls, too, it’s really cool and addictive, too.  they just look at you like you are crazy if you tell this to someone who doesn’t blog.  they don’t get it and until or if they try it, so be it, they just won’t get it.

i remember before i blogged, i used to think people who met on the internet must be freaks.  i don’t think that anymore.  there are a lot of sa-weet bloggers here who i have been lucky enough to share ups and downs and inbetweens with.  we have a unique, cool, and giving and supportive community here … as long as you stick with the ones who play nicely, it is very good.  i’ve heard of some people having weirdo stalkers occasionally but that seems to be more of the exception than the norm thankfully.  lots of people could probably tell you about at least one person who they got the creeps by, but generally this has been a good and positive experience.  i say trust your gut.  if it feels creepy, but you can’t quite put your finger on it, just go with it.  trust yourself to know.

i love how one of my favorite bloggy friends (tara) is someone who i enjoy sharing phone calls with, too, now.  it doesn’t even seem weird that we have never been in person together.  talking on the phone with her just seems like we are continuing our daily email conversations that we bat back and forth to each other.  i don’t think of her as a “bloggy” friend, i think of her as a friend.  she told me that, too.  very cool.  she has my back and that feels good.  when i called friday to talk because i was upset about missing my teen daughter (13mar post), she listened to me and before long, i kid you not, we were giggling and laughing hard at times on the phone.  those 46 minutes went by quicker than spit and by the time we got off the phone, i had a big grin on my face and i no longer felt sad about missing my teen.  i can’t do phone calls with very many people.  it has to feel really comfortable.  usually i stay away from the phone or keep it brief.  but with certain people, it is all good.  so, yea, i can totally relate to lunaNik (nikki) writing up her post this weekend about how excited she was to get to talk to one of her favorite bloggy buddies (ohMommy) and how amazed and pleased she was that the 1st phone call was awesome.  i love that when that happens.  it is rare and it is so special when you click!  you know when you do  

see, we’re not internet freaks here.  we share things, the good things, the challenging things, we lift others when they need it, we laugh with others when something hilarious happens.  how is this really different than what we do with friends we know in the states or provinces that we live in?  i have more frequent contact with some of my buddies here than i ever do with some of my buddies here in alaska.  i don’t know why.  i guess i prefer it.  it feels comfortable.  and i like comfortable.

so go ahead, call one of your bloggy buddies who you really click with and you have been dying to hear their voice.  you’ll make their day and you will probably love it, too.  no call screening allowed!  he he.  comment love is awesome.  email love is awesome.  buzz love is awesome.  and telephone love is awesome.

it’s all good, kathleen xoxo 

ps. happy st. patty’s day all.  i leave you with a silly irish blessing.  “As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!”  he he